The Travelling Fairy DancerTravel versus Settling in Suburbia – The Endless Debate
November 12th 2011 14:51
We all know him, or her. They may have dreadlocks, wear baggy Hessian pants as an informal ‘travelling uniform’, and sprout words such as, “when I was in Cambodia", and, “I slept with one hundred cockroaches in the outback and they didn’t bother me one bit,” to – “while I was in Europe, I picked grapes for a living and lounged in a Tuscan farmhouse,” to, “I was a nanny in England once. I lived in a mansion in the Cotswolds and flew to Venice every second weekend”.
Exciting? Yes. Adventurous? Yes. Slightly mad? Yes.
Now, a snapshot of suburban, family life. “I changed five nappies before 11am yesterday, had the in-laws over for lunch, did six loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, drove to swimming lessons, mowed the lawn, made dinner for five, cleared the table, washed up, read the kids a bed time story and went to sleep at 8pm, only to be woken up with, ‘mummy, daddy, mummy, daddy…’ over and over again from 2am to 6am”.
I must confess, to this point, I am firmly in the first category, that of addicted backpacker. However, I have a gorgeous niece, and numerous friends’ children vying for the second option – so I am by no means ‘anti’ either argument.
But an argument it is.
Brought to the fore by relentless Home-buyer television shows portraying the poor, unfortunate backpacker, trapped in an illusionary state of ‘falling behind’ his or her’s contemporaries in the house buying market, unable to meet society’s version of ‘respectability’. News flash – this will mean little when we’ve moved on to the afterlife, if there is one. Better to live this life…to the fullest. Who, by the way, invented this ‘respectability marker’? I’d like to meet them and ask them a few questions…
Or, the unfortunate couple, having had children because the woman felt she needed to before she was too old, both trapped in an unyielding market, unable to live life to the full, weighed down by nappies, mortgages, bills and 9:00-5:00 jobs with little opportunity for creative fulfilment or excitement on the domestically blurred horizon. However…in the meantime… they get to witness the unsuppressed giggles, the first spoken words, the uninhibited movement, the capacity for love of the untainted souls of their own children.
Fact – if you want security, by all means, buy a house and lay down roots – with joy. Fact – if you prefer adventure, challenge and endless change - don’t do the above - the backpack will suffice. Either way, it seems to me, the point is to do what makes one happy. And don’t get lost in either.
You have the power to change your life at any time, for any reason, no matter the circumstances, with love and blessings and good wishes for the future. We are not here, after all, to do each other's biddings, becoming caught up in a life of compromise for the sake of avoiding argument. We are here to do our own bidding, whilst infusing others with goodwill and projecting kindness to all. Kindness, however, is not equated with martyrdom or ‘settling’ for what we think is easy within the illusion we’ve created of our own lives.
To hell with what everyone else thinks. After all, your reputation is actually in the hands of others and has nothing to do with you, they will think what they wish, regardless – and, with regard to what other’s think, it’s none of your business – so what you do can't be dictated by this. It’s your journey. And yours alone. You’re the only one who gets to be happy about it…or not.
So let’s all stop worrying, what is the point, after all? Live, love and laugh in the present, create waves, movement and life - it’s all we have - and, as the song famously says… “Don’t worry, be happy…”. The past is over, the future is non-existent. Just do what makes you happy. In The Now. The worst thing to do is stagnate. Mould, moss, germs form when we stagnant.
Move. Stir the water. Place a finger in the still surface of a lake and watch the ripples expand. This is life. Expansion.
Take away all the materialistic, attachment based issues – and what we’re left with is the Now. And that is always something to rejoice in.
Exciting? Yes. Adventurous? Yes. Slightly mad? Yes.
<a href="http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=12571&picture=meditation-by-the-lake">Meditation By The Lake</a> by Nat Sakunworarat
Now, a snapshot of suburban, family life. “I changed five nappies before 11am yesterday, had the in-laws over for lunch, did six loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, drove to swimming lessons, mowed the lawn, made dinner for five, cleared the table, washed up, read the kids a bed time story and went to sleep at 8pm, only to be woken up with, ‘mummy, daddy, mummy, daddy…’ over and over again from 2am to 6am”.
I must confess, to this point, I am firmly in the first category, that of addicted backpacker. However, I have a gorgeous niece, and numerous friends’ children vying for the second option – so I am by no means ‘anti’ either argument.
But an argument it is.
Brought to the fore by relentless Home-buyer television shows portraying the poor, unfortunate backpacker, trapped in an illusionary state of ‘falling behind’ his or her’s contemporaries in the house buying market, unable to meet society’s version of ‘respectability’. News flash – this will mean little when we’ve moved on to the afterlife, if there is one. Better to live this life…to the fullest. Who, by the way, invented this ‘respectability marker’? I’d like to meet them and ask them a few questions…
Or, the unfortunate couple, having had children because the woman felt she needed to before she was too old, both trapped in an unyielding market, unable to live life to the full, weighed down by nappies, mortgages, bills and 9:00-5:00 jobs with little opportunity for creative fulfilment or excitement on the domestically blurred horizon. However…in the meantime… they get to witness the unsuppressed giggles, the first spoken words, the uninhibited movement, the capacity for love of the untainted souls of their own children.
Fact – if you want security, by all means, buy a house and lay down roots – with joy. Fact – if you prefer adventure, challenge and endless change - don’t do the above - the backpack will suffice. Either way, it seems to me, the point is to do what makes one happy. And don’t get lost in either.
You have the power to change your life at any time, for any reason, no matter the circumstances, with love and blessings and good wishes for the future. We are not here, after all, to do each other's biddings, becoming caught up in a life of compromise for the sake of avoiding argument. We are here to do our own bidding, whilst infusing others with goodwill and projecting kindness to all. Kindness, however, is not equated with martyrdom or ‘settling’ for what we think is easy within the illusion we’ve created of our own lives.
To hell with what everyone else thinks. After all, your reputation is actually in the hands of others and has nothing to do with you, they will think what they wish, regardless – and, with regard to what other’s think, it’s none of your business – so what you do can't be dictated by this. It’s your journey. And yours alone. You’re the only one who gets to be happy about it…or not.
So let’s all stop worrying, what is the point, after all? Live, love and laugh in the present, create waves, movement and life - it’s all we have - and, as the song famously says… “Don’t worry, be happy…”. The past is over, the future is non-existent. Just do what makes you happy. In The Now. The worst thing to do is stagnate. Mould, moss, germs form when we stagnant.
Move. Stir the water. Place a finger in the still surface of a lake and watch the ripples expand. This is life. Expansion.
Take away all the materialistic, attachment based issues – and what we’re left with is the Now. And that is always something to rejoice in.
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