The Travelling Fairy DancerBali - The Land of No Rules?
September 30th 2011 10:22
What are the rules, for a destination with no rules?
Bali. Land of rice fields, nasi goreng, stray dogs and infinite spiritual wisdom. Land of unruly tourists from the West, drinking Bintang in the streets, lying topless on the beach and lining the pockets of corrupt officials for ‘unlicensed’ moped jaunts.
Bali – where no rules, equates to endless rules, all of which are bound to confuse the weary, luxury drunk tourist.
What must you avoid? The following:
Mopeds.
Unless you know the ins and outs of corruption. Apparently, you can ‘say’ you have family within the high ranks of the embassy, you can bribe your way out of it, or you can barter with police. In reality, if you have an accident, get pulled over randomly at 3am after too many Bintangs, or stop an official to ask for directions, you are unlikely to escape this situation without empting you’re pockets of hundreds of dollars worth of souvenir money. Better just to jump on the back of one with a local – and trust they know what they’re doing, (not a guarantee, but the odds are better…).
Potholes.
Pavements. Roads. Driveways. A severe danger to ankles of all foreign visitors. We’re not talking small indents in the cement – picture a 3 meter drop into a sewer. This is the obstacle course faced by all on the trek from Kuta to Seminyak – the main tourist thoroughfare. Tips? Don’t wear heels. Ever. Never step on a palm frond – it most likely hides a terrifying fall into a germ-ridden, horrifying stench polluted hell. Do not step on grates. Ever.
Ice. Salad. Meat from street vendors.
I know, I know. We are all smart, world-weary travelers – immune from falling pray to the dreaded ‘Bali belly’. Tell this to someone on their fifth day lying on the bathroom floor of their hotel – from drinking ice in a cocktail in a 5 star hotel. Just don’t. You don’t need to. It’s not worth it. The only way out – if you know locals and can trust the source of the ice/water/meat. I contracted food poisoning from a hot dog on the streets of New York. Who knew? It’s something you can never guard completely against, but it’s worth trying, just to stay out of the bathroom and on the path to adventure instead.
The rules are worth following, in order to enjoy one of the most sublime places on earth. The surf, the Rock Bar, the forests, Ubud, Tanah Lot, Uluwatu, Nusa Dua – the list is endlessly divine. You will fall in love with the Balinese, find yourself within their smiles and bask in the sun setting over the ocean.
As long as you don’t fall down any holes on your way to bliss…Even Alice would find it hard to get to Wonderland through that amount of rubbish.
Bali. Land of rice fields, nasi goreng, stray dogs and infinite spiritual wisdom. Land of unruly tourists from the West, drinking Bintang in the streets, lying topless on the beach and lining the pockets of corrupt officials for ‘unlicensed’ moped jaunts.
Bali – where no rules, equates to endless rules, all of which are bound to confuse the weary, luxury drunk tourist.
What must you avoid? The following:
Mopeds.
Unless you know the ins and outs of corruption. Apparently, you can ‘say’ you have family within the high ranks of the embassy, you can bribe your way out of it, or you can barter with police. In reality, if you have an accident, get pulled over randomly at 3am after too many Bintangs, or stop an official to ask for directions, you are unlikely to escape this situation without empting you’re pockets of hundreds of dollars worth of souvenir money. Better just to jump on the back of one with a local – and trust they know what they’re doing, (not a guarantee, but the odds are better…).
Potholes.
Pavements. Roads. Driveways. A severe danger to ankles of all foreign visitors. We’re not talking small indents in the cement – picture a 3 meter drop into a sewer. This is the obstacle course faced by all on the trek from Kuta to Seminyak – the main tourist thoroughfare. Tips? Don’t wear heels. Ever. Never step on a palm frond – it most likely hides a terrifying fall into a germ-ridden, horrifying stench polluted hell. Do not step on grates. Ever.
Ice. Salad. Meat from street vendors.
I know, I know. We are all smart, world-weary travelers – immune from falling pray to the dreaded ‘Bali belly’. Tell this to someone on their fifth day lying on the bathroom floor of their hotel – from drinking ice in a cocktail in a 5 star hotel. Just don’t. You don’t need to. It’s not worth it. The only way out – if you know locals and can trust the source of the ice/water/meat. I contracted food poisoning from a hot dog on the streets of New York. Who knew? It’s something you can never guard completely against, but it’s worth trying, just to stay out of the bathroom and on the path to adventure instead.
The rules are worth following, in order to enjoy one of the most sublime places on earth. The surf, the Rock Bar, the forests, Ubud, Tanah Lot, Uluwatu, Nusa Dua – the list is endlessly divine. You will fall in love with the Balinese, find yourself within their smiles and bask in the sun setting over the ocean.
As long as you don’t fall down any holes on your way to bliss…Even Alice would find it hard to get to Wonderland through that amount of rubbish.
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